WHICH WAY IS NORTH?

I have always had a bad sense of direction – on second thought, make that a non-existent sense of direction. I cannot distinguish between north, south, east, and west – only right and left. Basically, the correct path is always the opposite of what I think it is. For example, I have the layout of the mall memorized because of the overwhelming number of visits I have made, but when I walk out of a store, I still instinctively turn the wrong way. Anyone who goes into a store with me knows that when we leave, they will need to wait at the entrance of the store because I will be returning shortly.

When navigation systems became available in cars, I was an eager and grateful customer. No more circling the same block multiple times or getting on the wrong freeway. The bonus of navigation systems is that even if you are not listening closely, giant brightly colored arrows show you where to go. In my case, the best part is that when I still manage to go the wrong way, a calm voice redirects me and never says, “What were you thinking?”. I wonder if one day my system won’t respond due to navigation exhaustion.

Occasionally, I have managed to completely override (literally) my female voiced navigator. Today was one of those days, when I was so busy talking on the phone, that I drove five miles in the wrong direction on one of the busiest streets in the Valley. The five miles translated to being 45 minutes late. Luckily, my friends were happy to patiently drink multiple glasses of tea while they waited for me, even though this resulted in needing to make many trips to the bathroom during our lunch.

I wonder if there is a gene for having a sense of direction, and if so, why didn’t I get it? Is there a navigation plus system for those of us who need more intense directions? Or maybe I should look at the positive consequences. People who know me almost always insist on driving when we go somewhere together, and with the price of gas, I am saving lots of money (which makes up for all of the times I get lost). I guess the best plan is to leave extra early and keep a chocolate bar in my purse.

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2 responses to “WHICH WAY IS NORTH?”

  1. Jim says I can get lost backing out of the driveway. He gets so frustrated when I cant remember where to go after I have been to that location a million times. I panic assuming I’ll miss a turnoff while he blissfully sleeps in the car next to me. North is up, south is down, east is right, west is left, I learned that in geography class. If that’s true, then when I’m going up the hill I’m going north right? Oy vey, I guess we can never go on a road trip together. Your pain is my pain .

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    1. You are my lost soulmate!

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