LIVING LIFE

It is the week before Christmas, which means that I have issued my annual restraining order to avoid malls – any type of mall to be exact until January 1. UPS stores are fine, the market is fine, but the mall is not.

Due to the fact that in a moment of weakness and believing that people return gifts after the holidays, not before them, I formulated a plan to slip in the door and sprint as soon as the stores opened. The best timing to do the returns was after my annual eye exam appointment. Being as I decided to wait a while since I looked like a beanie boo (two giant dilated black dots for eyes), I ended up being number 10 in the return line. If anyone had shown the slightest interest in two pairs of black pants, I would have sold them for half-price on the spot and headed for the door. 

I did have better luck at the second store and happily power walked to my car. As my finger hit the ignition button, I received a text from my daughter who had recently been lamenting over the fact that her favorite Trader Joe’s product, chocolate covered mint marshmallows, had been discontinued. After taking out my phone and reading the text, it became clear that someone had discovered a substitute for this much loved but discontinued product. 

The location of the marshmallow imposter was actually on my way home, so I decided to make another stop. I quickly scooped up three boxes, checked out in record time, threw them in my car and headed home.

Next year I will once again create a restraining order and only purchase or return items that can be dropped off at UPS. 

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